'Toy Story 5' and the screen-time struggle: Are we losing the art of play?

In the battle of toys vs. tech have parents been too distracted by their own devices to notice that creative play is losing to screen time?

My (now) 9-year-old Julius took the day off camp this week for a day of fun with his parents. It brought immense joy to my wife and me to have him want this. He asked to go to the pool, eat at his favorite sushi spot for lunch (kids today are so fancy), and then see a movie—specifically Toy Story 5. 

I knew going into the movie that the latest iteration of the popular multigenerational animated franchise—led by the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, and an impressive supporting cast—dives into the issue of what happens when a device is added to the toy room. But I was shocked at how much of a mirror the movie turns out to be. 

Photo courtesy of Pixar

I didn't realize how much it would hit home for me regarding the monumental distraction devices are causing and how children-geared tech is changing how kids grow up.

(The fact I’m communicating this on a device is not lost as you read on.)

I sat in the theater going through all the emotions as the toys—led by the cowgirl Jessie, in a change from earlier versions of the films—struggle to continue to connect with their shy kid, Bonnie, after her parents got a "kid-friendly" tablet called Lilypad. I won't spoil what happens as Buzz Lightyear, a now-balding Woody, and the other toys join forces with some low-tech to fight back and bring their kids joy and friendship instead of despondence and mindless gameplay. The movie hints that the friends you make online may not be the friends you want to be friends with in reality.

I laughed out loud at some of the jokes, I teared up at some of the social commentary, and I found myself genuinely entertained by what plays out over the 100 minutes or so of Toy Story 5. 

Are we missing the point? 

I left the theater and turned to my device (maybe I missed the point?) to see what the experts were saying about the movie's message amid a summer of potential activity. 

I quickly landed on an NPR article: “‘Toy Story 5’ gets at something very real: It's hard to keep kids off screens in summer.” Toy Story 5' gets at something very real: It's hard to keep kids off screens in summer." The article points to research that finds kids 7 to 12—the age range where they really begin turning away from toys and toward tech—are on screens about 30% more during the summer. That amounts to about four to five hours of screen time daily.

Even more disturbing, online safety company Aura finds that 75% of kids ages 7 to 11 would rather watch videos than play with toys. Those hours come from someplace else, doctors say. 

"Time that is generally spent on screens is often displacing sleep, physical activity or outdoor time," pediatrician Dr. Jason Nagata told NPR.

Kids should be focused on being kids, but instead are dipping their toes into shared gaming, basic online messaging and a lack of focused conversation. (Just ask a kid playing on a tablet, "What do you want for lunch?" and see their reaction when you give them what you suggested, but they didn't consciously agree to eat.) 

The parenting paradox (are we ultimately at fault?) 

Why are we letting this happen? Is it because we as parents need to focus on something else, and the screen is the easiest babysitter—where it used to be toys? Is it because we have run out of ideas? 

I'd like to think we're still these creative beings and that creative play and all those other things still happen. I see it in kids where they just create games and start playing, especially when they're outside. 

I think the issue is the indoor time and how we spend it as a family. This is something the nonprofit Family Dinner Project has been tackling since 2010. Several years back they put out an article about the pervasiveness of screens at dinner. They even mentioned an NBC News article that finds parents are the worst offenders.

That's right, we suck when it comes to our toxic relationships with our phones. Do we really need to have them out on the table (unless the restaurant only offers a digital version of the menu)? 

Toy Story 5 consistently jabs the adults in the room about their screen time. We should probably all look at ourselves and do as Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young suggest: "Teach Your Children Well."

I think we need to take a good, hard look at ourselves, our families, and our tech usage. We need to think of it from the perspective of the child and give them time to simply be a kid. 

It'll be of value for us as they're all trying to grow up so fast now—devices are speeding the process up so quickly. Let's focus on rejuvenating that despondent kid impacted by too much screen time or when something negative happens within that time.  

So, put down your phone, close your computer and grab your kids to play. You, them and their toys will love every moment of it.